30 Days of Thanks: Day 6

Wow! Feels good to be back on a roll with my blogging. It's much easier to do this when you have a deadline. Now to day 6...


Today I'm thankful for my job. If you get paid to play online games, interact on Twitter, interact on Facebook, make friends with bloggers, brainstorm and execute exciting contest and fun campaigns raise your hand......oh oh oh, me me me!!!!!

Of course there are a lot more details to my job and a LOT of strategy that goes into each and every campaign. Too much to write and of course I can't give away our secrets but know that I work with so many creative individuals, so many people that are willing to dig down deep and work their butts off to create something amazing and deliver amazing results for each and every client. I've never seen such perfect dynamics within an organization. So today I'm absolutely thankful for my job

30 Days of Thanks: Day 5

To switch it up a bit, I thought I'd make a video for day 5 of my 30 days of thanks. Forgive the quality, it's the first video I've ever created and uploaded to YouTube so I didn't exactly put a lot of time and effort into it. So, enjoy the mix up and feel free to let me know that you don't want to see my face again. If not, I'll stick to text and images.

ENJOY!!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 4

Today I'm thankful for the lesson my dad instilled in me throughout my adolescent years, and that's determination and heart. I won't hide it, I was daddy's little girl (daddy's little tomboy) and anything he did, I wanted to do- except hunting, that never panned out so well. Anyway, I digress.

Throughout those years, my dad supported me in whatever endeavor I pursued. Always my coach, he sometimes did it with cool calm understanding and sometimes with tough love, but he pushed me so that I could realize no goal was unattainable. In July, father's day came around and I started thinking about what my dad had done for me and at the same time, made the decision to begin training for a marathon. At that time, I told my dad that I was running the race for him, utilizing the lessons he taught me. This became even more real when just a few months later, my dad had a heart attack. My healthy, active, father had a heart attack. I know, it baffled the doctors as much as it baffled me. And I panicked at the thought of losing him, losing his wisdom. But, it was then that I knew I HAD to finish the race, no matter what, for my dad. So I set and accomplished three goals for this marathon using what my dad taught me:

1) At no point was I to walk during the marathon, always running/jogging, but NEVER walking- CHECK
2)FINISH the marathon- CHECK
3) Finish in under 5 hours- finished in 4:46- CHECK AND CHECK

There were times that I had to just put my head down and pray, or give myself a motivational speech. I kept telling myself, one mile at a time, one mile at a time. And as painful as it was (the knees were KILLING and the cramps wouldn't stop), I did it. THANKS DAD!

30 Days of Thanks: Day 3

Today I'm thankful for having a hobby/interest I can share with my husband and for boats, lakes and fishing. This past summer, "Cousin Kris" as we refer to him, acquired a boat that Jarrad claimed as half his. Throughout the summer Jarrad went on a number of camping trips and even more fishing trips. No, I didn't get to go as often as I'd like, but there were a few occasions that I got to escape with him and I fully believe that those moments were what helped me to regain my sanity.

When camping, we roughed it so I didn't have to worry every minute about how much money we were spending and what bill would suffer as a result because we caught our food and cooked it. And I got to experience true serenity. During the day, hundreds of boats are flying across the lake but if you get in your boat after dark and drift off into the water, you realize that the water can be still. The calmness that follows is amazing: a slight rock of the boat, laid back, feet up and total quite- AMAZING.

Not only did I get to enjoy the camping, but I've fallen in love with fishing. It's the same stress free results for me, except instead of calmness, it instills excitement in me. My dad taught me SO much growing up, but I didn't take a large interest in fishing until recently (which is weird since my dad LOVES fishing) and it was Jarrad and "Cousin Kris" that taught me the basics and because of Jarrad, I caught my first big fish this year- a 4 pound bass....SO exciting. I jumped up and down in the boat like a mad woman. Jarrad trying to yell instructions to me through my excitement and I'm freaking out and telling him to land it because I was SO afraid I'd lose it. You couldn't wipe the smile off my face the rest of that day.

So today I'm thankful for a shared interest with my husband and boats, camping and lakes

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 2

Today I'm Thankful for two things. First, I'm thankful for waking up in a good mood. Despite the fact that I didn't get in bed until after 1:00 AM, despite the fact that I still struggled to fall asleep and despite the fact that it was raining when I went to bed and raining even harder when I woke up, I woke up in a great mood. Today my heart is FULL of thanks and while I won't list those off because I still have 28 days to go, today I'm thankful for waking up on the RIGHT side of the bed.


NUMBER 2 and more importantly: Today I'm thankful for our Veterans. Every year on Veterans day, I feel more and more gratitude towards my husband that served in "Operation Iraqi Freedom." I'm so proud of him and the pride he had/has for his country. He is my hero.

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 1

OK, well,I'm a little late in the game as I should have started this on November 1st, but oh well. We'll just start today and go through the beginning of December instead of attempting to pack 10 days into one post. You can thank my friend Amy at "This Lucky Little Life" for the inspiration.

I noticed that many of my most recent post (not that I'm good at keeping them updated which is reason two for taking this on) were very angry, upset and distraught. Today, I'm thankful that those stresses, those insecurities and the horrible horrible anxiety are slowly and gradually retreating. Our lives are getting back on track and after a full year of struggling, it feels pretty good.

Struggling

Hello to all my many (ok, maybe just 2) readers. I wish I could say I'm back on because I have great news, or things are looking up but right now, the truth is, they're not.

I'm struggling. I've sat back and asked for Gods help time and time again, but the answer isn't there. He isn't ready to help. I'm guessing you're asking yourself: "what is she babbling about?"

Well, here goes. Obviously everyone knows I went 3+ months without a job. During that time, a lot of my bills suffered. After starting my new job, I went on the hunt for a part-time job. Found an awesome part-time nanny position that fit perfectly with my schedule. But things are falling apart. Don't get me wrong, I'm in love with the little girl. She is an angel that has brought many much needed smiles to my face but the struggles of dealing with her mom is not easy. Sadly, I'm going to have to say goodbye to her and pursue other part-time opportunities.

I'm stressing over how to pay Jarrad's tuition as he is busting his ass this semester to get done with school. So I'm so worried I will fail him by not coming through. And with all these bills that I'm still catching up on, I never have an extra dime to put towards anything.

With that comes the fact that I feel I've failed as a daughter and as a sister. What kind of sister can't come up with a small gift, a token of their love for their sister that was recently married? What daughter keeps her parents worried to death about rather or not she's paying her bills? Apparently me.

There are so many nights that I just want to curl up in a ball and give up. It's hard to keep going when you feel like you're running in place and getting no where. So what's next? Well, I have Friday off so it looks like I'm going to be spending the one day I should be relaxing, searching for a new part-time job and I can only pray that something will be a good fit and that I can start right away.

So why am I telling you all of this? Well, really no reason. Because this is my personal blog and a place to rant and rave and unfortunately, as my small group of readers, you have to listen. But don't worry- as a way to counter the depression I'm sure I just brought on you, I've included some pictures of the little girl I nanny.

Now she is a cutey and every time she says my name she melts my heart and she knows it. I will forever be grateful to her for bringing silly smiles to my face and I only wish I could continue to keep her...unfortunately, I can't afford to. So enjoy. Hopefully this will help me keep the memories of her in my heart forever.