I recently had a conversation with Kelly that went something like this:
Kelly: "Lauren’s so funny – I’m so glad we found her. Corney- but God had a plan moving her here…"
Christian: "Not corney, I agree with you. I just think we’re going to be the three old ladies sitting at the coffee shop one day yelling at 'those pesky kids!' It’ll be fun!"
Kelly: "[Or] sitting in our rockers on the front porch drinking sweet tea!!"
I LOVE IT! I do see us one day being those old ladies. I think our loud, sarcastic, goofy (occasionally a bit crude) personalities will not change even when the wrinkles come. I look forward to many years of girls night out and deep conversation, I look forward to watching our kids grow up together, I look forward to helping each other through the good times and the bad times, I look forward to the future.
So today I'm thankful for Lauren and Kelly! Perhaps later I can get Lauren to make up one of her fabulous fake toast to include in this post as well :)!
Reflection
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Saturday was a stressful, yet wonderful day. This weekend I had the privilege of sharing in Crystal Smith's special day by fixing all the bridesmaids' hair. It was exciting yet stressful. The more time that passed, the more nervous the bride became, making her mom even more nervous, leaving me fixing the last two ladies' hair with shaking hands.
The wedding went well and as I sat there watching Crystal's face, I couldn't help but smile. At that moment I was flooded with a multitude of memories from my wedding day and more importantly from the last four years of my marriage. I remember that moment, the moment I walked down the aisle and caught Jarrad's eyes. At that moment I could have been walking down the aisle naked and would not have cared. It truly was the happiest day of my life.
Now rewind for a moment. Go back 13 years. I was 12 with the female version of a bowl cut, baggy jeans and a Dallas Cowboys jersey (I didn't even like Dallas so I don't know why I chose that team). Jarrad was 13 wearing Nike Air Zooms, a puffy jacket and baggy jeans and somehow we were set-up on a "blind date" (you'll notice I'll use quotes a lot in the upcoming content because my parents definitely weren't allowing me to date at the age of 12. I was allowed to go to the movies as long as they picked me up and dropped me off and I was allowed to hang out in the living room with my "boy friend" as long as there was parental supervision). But I digress.....At the age of 12 & 13 Jarrad and I meet for the first time and there was an instant connection. I actually found my diary from middle school and I quote: "Jarrad and I are a perfect couple. I can see us getting married one day."
So I know what you're thinking and NO, we haven't been together since we were 12. However, no matter how hard we tried we couldn't stay away from each other. We were back together again my junior year in high school and that's all it took. I believe I was completely right, even at the age of 12, when I said he and I are the perfect couple. I'm so grateful every day that God provided me with a husband that truly is my best friend first. In my opinion, we are the perfect couple.
Jarrad and I have very opposite personalities that seem to intertwine just perfectly. Jarrad has brought a sense of calmness to my life that I didn't have before. Even now tears fill my eyes when I think about exactly how much I love him. Jarrad knows what I'm thinking before I verbalize it, he's more than happy to take me for midol and ice cream when I'm PMSing, he makes me laugh on a daily basis. For Jarrad, everything is fine and will work out. I feel safest when I'm near him.
I've been talking about mine and Jarrad's relationship to my friends and family a lot lately and one phrase always escapes my lips: "For me, marriage gets better every year." Knowing each other for the last 13 years, being together for the last 10 and being married for the last 4, I've found that Jarrad and I have and still are growing up together. Sure we disagree on lots of subjects, but respect is huge in our relationship. I respect his thoughts, beliefs and opinions and he respects mine. To this point, everything has simply worked for us and we continue to work towards common goals.
Jarrad and I have been through a lot, dealing with the death of his father,dealing with separation as he entered his career in the military and I began college, dealing with his brother being schizophrenic and discovering his mental illness when he lived with us and working through his hospitalization, dealing with Jarrad being off at war, pawning anything and everything to make rent....and through it all, we've only grown stronger as a couple.
And let's not forget, though I mention the stressful times we've encountered, the good times outweigh it all such as....getting Sarge for my birthday and Mackey for Valentines day (those are my two beagles), fishing, the purchase of our first car together, getting out of that tiny apartment, new friends, nice dinners out where we pretend to have lots of money, long walks together, bowling, long conversations during our 11 hour drives to Alabama, the list goes on.
As we wind down at night either snuggled up on our couch or snuggled together in bed, I find myself sitting there staring into Jarrad's eyes and smiling. When I look into his eyes I see kindness, understanding, endless love, patience and compassion and I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have married him.
So here's to Crystal and Brad and all couples just now entering marriage. I hope you are as happy as I.
Hopefully I can add a couple of pictures of the happy bride and groom this afternoon.
The wedding went well and as I sat there watching Crystal's face, I couldn't help but smile. At that moment I was flooded with a multitude of memories from my wedding day and more importantly from the last four years of my marriage. I remember that moment, the moment I walked down the aisle and caught Jarrad's eyes. At that moment I could have been walking down the aisle naked and would not have cared. It truly was the happiest day of my life.
Now rewind for a moment. Go back 13 years. I was 12 with the female version of a bowl cut, baggy jeans and a Dallas Cowboys jersey (I didn't even like Dallas so I don't know why I chose that team). Jarrad was 13 wearing Nike Air Zooms, a puffy jacket and baggy jeans and somehow we were set-up on a "blind date" (you'll notice I'll use quotes a lot in the upcoming content because my parents definitely weren't allowing me to date at the age of 12. I was allowed to go to the movies as long as they picked me up and dropped me off and I was allowed to hang out in the living room with my "boy friend" as long as there was parental supervision). But I digress.....At the age of 12 & 13 Jarrad and I meet for the first time and there was an instant connection. I actually found my diary from middle school and I quote: "Jarrad and I are a perfect couple. I can see us getting married one day."
So I know what you're thinking and NO, we haven't been together since we were 12. However, no matter how hard we tried we couldn't stay away from each other. We were back together again my junior year in high school and that's all it took. I believe I was completely right, even at the age of 12, when I said he and I are the perfect couple. I'm so grateful every day that God provided me with a husband that truly is my best friend first. In my opinion, we are the perfect couple.
Jarrad and I have very opposite personalities that seem to intertwine just perfectly. Jarrad has brought a sense of calmness to my life that I didn't have before. Even now tears fill my eyes when I think about exactly how much I love him. Jarrad knows what I'm thinking before I verbalize it, he's more than happy to take me for midol and ice cream when I'm PMSing, he makes me laugh on a daily basis. For Jarrad, everything is fine and will work out. I feel safest when I'm near him.
I've been talking about mine and Jarrad's relationship to my friends and family a lot lately and one phrase always escapes my lips: "For me, marriage gets better every year." Knowing each other for the last 13 years, being together for the last 10 and being married for the last 4, I've found that Jarrad and I have and still are growing up together. Sure we disagree on lots of subjects, but respect is huge in our relationship. I respect his thoughts, beliefs and opinions and he respects mine. To this point, everything has simply worked for us and we continue to work towards common goals.
Jarrad and I have been through a lot, dealing with the death of his father,dealing with separation as he entered his career in the military and I began college, dealing with his brother being schizophrenic and discovering his mental illness when he lived with us and working through his hospitalization, dealing with Jarrad being off at war, pawning anything and everything to make rent....and through it all, we've only grown stronger as a couple.
And let's not forget, though I mention the stressful times we've encountered, the good times outweigh it all such as....getting Sarge for my birthday and Mackey for Valentines day (those are my two beagles), fishing, the purchase of our first car together, getting out of that tiny apartment, new friends, nice dinners out where we pretend to have lots of money, long walks together, bowling, long conversations during our 11 hour drives to Alabama, the list goes on.
As we wind down at night either snuggled up on our couch or snuggled together in bed, I find myself sitting there staring into Jarrad's eyes and smiling. When I look into his eyes I see kindness, understanding, endless love, patience and compassion and I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have married him.
So here's to Crystal and Brad and all couples just now entering marriage. I hope you are as happy as I.
Hopefully I can add a couple of pictures of the happy bride and groom this afternoon.
Such a Heavy Heart
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I've been plagued with a heavy heart the last two days and it's been weighing heavily on me both emotionally and physically. I just feel like God's trying to get my attention but for what reason I do not know. Sometimes I just want to scream "SPEAK UP!" but I'm sure he's screaming "JUST LISTEN!"
If only I knew all the answers and if only I was good at listening. How do you train yourself to hear what God is telling you? I want to reach out to someone for help, but how do you explain to someone that you know there's a reason for the feeling but you don't know how to figure that out. Most importantly, how can you explain this to someone, when you can't even explain it to yourself. I JUST WISH THE ANSWER WOULD LITERALLY SMACK ME IN THE HEAD!!! Now THAT would catch my attention.
If only I knew all the answers and if only I was good at listening. How do you train yourself to hear what God is telling you? I want to reach out to someone for help, but how do you explain to someone that you know there's a reason for the feeling but you don't know how to figure that out. Most importantly, how can you explain this to someone, when you can't even explain it to yourself. I JUST WISH THE ANSWER WOULD LITERALLY SMACK ME IN THE HEAD!!! Now THAT would catch my attention.
Prayer and Surrender
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Unfortunately I didn't sleep at all Saturday night and by Sunday I had a pretty miserable sinus infection and high fever. I sat there debating rather or not I should stay on the couch for the day or if I should go ahead and get ready for church. Since I apparently missed a wonderful service last Sunday, I wasn't about to do the same this Sunday so up I went, nasty runny nose and all and I'm so glad I did.
Sometimes I think the messages at Church at the Triangle are tailored just for me. This week's focus was prayer and surrender. Which is something I struggle with. I find that often I say to God, here I am, I surrender to you, do as you want with me but in the back of my head I'm saying....as long as it doesn't interfere with X, Y & Z. It was good for me to hear yesterday's message because lately not only have I prayed that God will take me and do as he pleases, but I pray that I will be brave enough and that God will provide the courage for me to follow through with whatever he requests.
Sometimes I think the messages at Church at the Triangle are tailored just for me. This week's focus was prayer and surrender. Which is something I struggle with. I find that often I say to God, here I am, I surrender to you, do as you want with me but in the back of my head I'm saying....as long as it doesn't interfere with X, Y & Z. It was good for me to hear yesterday's message because lately not only have I prayed that God will take me and do as he pleases, but I pray that I will be brave enough and that God will provide the courage for me to follow through with whatever he requests.
Birthday Fun!
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Yesterday was WONDERFUL!!! There's nothing like girls day out for a bit of birthday fun.
But before girls night began, we had to make a little ice cream stop with Riley and Cameron. I can't resist sharing some very cute pictures:
After ice cream we were off for manis and pedis and then finally landed at my all time favorite hangout, RUCKUS PIZZA, for a very relaxed night outside full of girl talk, sorry....not going to share the juicy details of that conversation.
Oh, and did I mention that the little gift Cameron gave me before leaving him had to come along as well?
In all seriousness, I thank God every day for the wonderful friends he has put into my life. I would go absolutely insane if I didn't have a few awesome chicks with which I can vent, laugh, cry and celebrate special occasions. Thank you Kelly and Lauren for a very awesome night!
But before girls night began, we had to make a little ice cream stop with Riley and Cameron. I can't resist sharing some very cute pictures:
After ice cream we were off for manis and pedis and then finally landed at my all time favorite hangout, RUCKUS PIZZA, for a very relaxed night outside full of girl talk, sorry....not going to share the juicy details of that conversation.
Oh, and did I mention that the little gift Cameron gave me before leaving him had to come along as well?
In all seriousness, I thank God every day for the wonderful friends he has put into my life. I would go absolutely insane if I didn't have a few awesome chicks with which I can vent, laugh, cry and celebrate special occasions. Thank you Kelly and Lauren for a very awesome night!
ONCE UPON A TIME
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OK- first let me apologize because this is going to be another long post and I know I promised not do that again.
SO- I've been fighting with myself lately....yea, I know... That seems to be a trend with me but I can assure you I don't have a personality disorder. But I've been fighting with myself because I've been shy about telling my latest story....I'm just not sure why I'm so scared, maybe I don't want some of my friends to think they've lost the Christian they know (which, PS- I'M STILL HERE, SAME CHRISTIAN), maybe it's hard for me to admit that I'm experiencing some changes in my life...I just don't know and don't pretend to know so here goes.
......Big Deep Breath......
I grew up in a very Christian home and, being daddy's little girl, my dad was a huge influence on my life. After witnessing my dad sprinting out of the house on a number of occasions with his Bible in hand to go see a friend that was hurting, or to watch my dad's consistently positive attitude, feeling his love on a daily basis and hearing my dad's story (I'll save that one for another day...possibly father's day)- I wanted to be like my dad. So at the age of 7, I welcomed Jesus into my life. But while I was daddy's perfect little angel...at least until I was 12, I still didn't know what it meant to do so.
Fast Forward through the horrible bad and awkward years of middle school and straight to high school. There was a new pastor at my church at the time and with him was a wonderful wife. Sweet as can be, they came in and actually wanted to focus on the teenagers, which, in the old church I grew up in, rarely happened. They took us to this weekend long conference for teenagers and that was my first experience with more contemporary music, my first experience with a mass of people my age interested in growing in their walk with Jesus. It was here that I really felt God with me. After a day of meetings and classes and worship, during prayer time I felt God put his hand on my shoulder and say, "I'm here." I sat in my pew, balling my eyes out. It was here that I truly asked God to come into my life. And things went well, I became active in my church and life was good. But then at the end of my Junior year in high school, it was their time to leave the church and a new pastor came in. Well, things went back to how they used to be....my relationship with God became a roller coaster ride...I stuck up for him and my beliefs when I wanted to or when it was convenient and did so throughout the rest of high school and college. Though I maintained a personal relationship with God through it all and never changed my beliefs, my actions didn't always reflect those beliefs.
After college graduation and my first years of marriage I began searching for that place to belong once again. The first place I found myself was a Baptist church near our apartment. The people were nice enough and the pastor even came to visit a couple of times. On one such occasion, when I was off working, he came to visit and my husband asked God into his life. So something wonderful came from that church, but that's not where I belonged. I didn't believe in a lot of the teachings from this pastor and found myself extremely agitated after some of his messages. I stayed here for almost two years, but it only became worse and my attendance and participation definitely began to dwindle.
We then moved into a town house on a different side of town and I took that opportunity to try out another church. I went, off and on...I guess when I needed "a fix" but didn't attend as often as possible. Another 10 months past and I tried one church near Holly Springs (this is where we moved next) and I still just wasn't where I needed to be.
Well, here goes the good stuff. Little did I know that a girl named Lauren would join our softball team and lead me to check out a new kind of church, Church at the Triangle. I was instantly drawn to this church and found myself acting like a blubbering idiot throughout the entire music portion of the service. The only way I can describe what I was feeling then was a feeling of belonging. I knew then and there that I was where I was supposed to be. For the first time in my life I found myself excited about Sunday and couldn't wait to get there. Now I know I want to help this church grow and reach their goals. Now I'll use the PR skills I've gained over the last four years and many new skills I'm creating as I go because I don't have the answers, to help this church through its launch. Even more exciting for me is that I get to join Lauren in a group to focus on College students. I feel here I can relate to these students and hopefully help provide them a place to worship while they're away from home.
Now I focused on the fact that I'm now getting involved, but what I didn't mentioned is that I've met some wonderful people that are now helping me grow in my Christianity. I'm no where near perfect, and I have lots of questions and very few answers that I'm hoping to discover over the coming months. I'm looking to grow in my walk with Jesus and I believe it'll be people like Lauren, mentioned previously, her husband Steve, Lead pastor Lee and others that will help guide me. I'm not exactly one to be providing the teachings of Jesus to others as I myself need to further study and learn, but what I can do is tell others about the blessings I've received and the love I've felt. I've been hit with some major hardships over the last few years and it's when I've said to God, I give up, here I am, take me, tell me what to do... that something always happens to save me from those hardships.
THE BEGINNING-OK, I know typically I'd say the end here, but it's not....so again......
THE BEGINNING..........
SO- I've been fighting with myself lately....yea, I know... That seems to be a trend with me but I can assure you I don't have a personality disorder. But I've been fighting with myself because I've been shy about telling my latest story....I'm just not sure why I'm so scared, maybe I don't want some of my friends to think they've lost the Christian they know (which, PS- I'M STILL HERE, SAME CHRISTIAN), maybe it's hard for me to admit that I'm experiencing some changes in my life...I just don't know and don't pretend to know so here goes.
......Big Deep Breath......
I grew up in a very Christian home and, being daddy's little girl, my dad was a huge influence on my life. After witnessing my dad sprinting out of the house on a number of occasions with his Bible in hand to go see a friend that was hurting, or to watch my dad's consistently positive attitude, feeling his love on a daily basis and hearing my dad's story (I'll save that one for another day...possibly father's day)- I wanted to be like my dad. So at the age of 7, I welcomed Jesus into my life. But while I was daddy's perfect little angel...at least until I was 12, I still didn't know what it meant to do so.
Fast Forward through the horrible bad and awkward years of middle school and straight to high school. There was a new pastor at my church at the time and with him was a wonderful wife. Sweet as can be, they came in and actually wanted to focus on the teenagers, which, in the old church I grew up in, rarely happened. They took us to this weekend long conference for teenagers and that was my first experience with more contemporary music, my first experience with a mass of people my age interested in growing in their walk with Jesus. It was here that I really felt God with me. After a day of meetings and classes and worship, during prayer time I felt God put his hand on my shoulder and say, "I'm here." I sat in my pew, balling my eyes out. It was here that I truly asked God to come into my life. And things went well, I became active in my church and life was good. But then at the end of my Junior year in high school, it was their time to leave the church and a new pastor came in. Well, things went back to how they used to be....my relationship with God became a roller coaster ride...I stuck up for him and my beliefs when I wanted to or when it was convenient and did so throughout the rest of high school and college. Though I maintained a personal relationship with God through it all and never changed my beliefs, my actions didn't always reflect those beliefs.
After college graduation and my first years of marriage I began searching for that place to belong once again. The first place I found myself was a Baptist church near our apartment. The people were nice enough and the pastor even came to visit a couple of times. On one such occasion, when I was off working, he came to visit and my husband asked God into his life. So something wonderful came from that church, but that's not where I belonged. I didn't believe in a lot of the teachings from this pastor and found myself extremely agitated after some of his messages. I stayed here for almost two years, but it only became worse and my attendance and participation definitely began to dwindle.
We then moved into a town house on a different side of town and I took that opportunity to try out another church. I went, off and on...I guess when I needed "a fix" but didn't attend as often as possible. Another 10 months past and I tried one church near Holly Springs (this is where we moved next) and I still just wasn't where I needed to be.
Well, here goes the good stuff. Little did I know that a girl named Lauren would join our softball team and lead me to check out a new kind of church, Church at the Triangle. I was instantly drawn to this church and found myself acting like a blubbering idiot throughout the entire music portion of the service. The only way I can describe what I was feeling then was a feeling of belonging. I knew then and there that I was where I was supposed to be. For the first time in my life I found myself excited about Sunday and couldn't wait to get there. Now I know I want to help this church grow and reach their goals. Now I'll use the PR skills I've gained over the last four years and many new skills I'm creating as I go because I don't have the answers, to help this church through its launch. Even more exciting for me is that I get to join Lauren in a group to focus on College students. I feel here I can relate to these students and hopefully help provide them a place to worship while they're away from home.
Now I focused on the fact that I'm now getting involved, but what I didn't mentioned is that I've met some wonderful people that are now helping me grow in my Christianity. I'm no where near perfect, and I have lots of questions and very few answers that I'm hoping to discover over the coming months. I'm looking to grow in my walk with Jesus and I believe it'll be people like Lauren, mentioned previously, her husband Steve, Lead pastor Lee and others that will help guide me. I'm not exactly one to be providing the teachings of Jesus to others as I myself need to further study and learn, but what I can do is tell others about the blessings I've received and the love I've felt. I've been hit with some major hardships over the last few years and it's when I've said to God, I give up, here I am, take me, tell me what to do... that something always happens to save me from those hardships.
THE BEGINNING-OK, I know typically I'd say the end here, but it's not....so again......
THE BEGINNING..........
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