Why is it that as adult women, we experience the uncontrollable urge to be mothers? It's like the moment you say your "I Dos" the urge hits. Many people give in to that urge as a married couple right away. For me, I couldn't give in. As an educated, intelligent woman I understand that I first have to be able to feed myself before I can feed another human being. I do believe you'll never be financially prepared for a child but I also recognize that there is a line between not thinking you're financially prepared and the simple fact that you really can't afford to feed another human being. Nearly 6 years of marriage have passed and I'm just now getting to that point where I can see that we're starting to get past that line where maybe we can handle it. So yay, we've talked about it and have a timeline in mind. And no, it's not any time soon for those of you who have a bet going about when I'll have a child. You're going to have to wait a long while. But I digress, what I'm trying to figure out is why we have such an urge because, to be perfectly honest, it's driving me a bit batty.
So, here's some hard truth (this would be the time for the men to stop reading this post unless you want the details of the hormonal, sappy emotions a woman experiences). Month after month after month I find myself fighting that need. The emotions can be so overwhelming sometimes that I find it hard to breathe, often on the verge of tears because I want it so badly. I've been blessed with an unbelievable amount of patience for children. Children have always had a place in my heart because I find their innocence and ability to be 100% truthful, absolutely amazing. I only wish I still had 1/4 of the imagination children have and I love to watch and even be a part of their growing. I cherish the relationships I've built with my nieces, god daughter and even the children I babysit. But that's no longer enough. I'm so ready for the opportunity to experience the love you have for your own children, the love and bond a mother and child has is absolutely amazing and I long for that. I NEED that and as much as I try to push it out of my mind, I can't. What about traveling? What about splurging a bit on myself? All things I logically know would be amazing but it doesn't stop that uncontrollable desire. So the question still remains "why?" Seriously, anyone that can even come close to answering that, please chime in. Why does it take over every emotion? Why is it always in the forefront of my daily thoughts? Why won't it just go away until I allow the feelings to again emerge? Why?
1 comments:
I wish I could give you a true answer! I can understand how you feel because I can get emotional over wanting a child too. Some days I can get so excited thinking about what it would be like if I had a baby, and then some days I am grateful for the "grown up" aspects of my life I have now. I think it's just a part of who we are. You're right when you say that no one is truly ready to have a baby, even if our emotions are screaming "yes!" But I do think that as we mature as women) that "baby fever" comes and goes a little too often : ) Nice post!
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