Dr. Lord......

Dear Lord,

I can't, you can.....PLEASE DO

Ode to my little Charlie Brown

Oh Charlie Brown- I love how you drag every rug in the house under the bed.

Oh Charlie Brown- how I love the fact that you think EVERYTHING is a chew tow, including my most expensive bras, my glasses and my favorite shoes, my PJs, etc.

Oh Charlie Brown- I love how you're convinced the carpet is simply dirt and that you CAN dig to the bottom- the landlord's going to love this one


Oh Charlie- I love how you dart out the door when no ones looking for a fun game of chase

Oh Charlie- I love it when you decide the coffee table is just another part of the floor and that everything on it is free game

Oh Charlie- I love how you decide, right before I need to leave for work, to run under the bed and play a rousing game of peek a boo- your head pokes out from under the bed, then you dive right back in before I can catch you

Oh Charlie- I love how you wake us up every 2 hours in the middle of the night because you've got to "potty"- but I really know that you know that after a few rounds of that I get tired of going out in the cold and will let you just get in the bed with us- it's pretty obvious when the nights we let all the dogs sleep with us, you some how manage to make it through the entire night without having to wake up to go potty.

But in all seriousness, I'm not ready for you to grow up and get out of this puppy phase because that means no more cute puppy beagle howls, no more cuddling in my arms like a baby, no more picking you up with one hand and carrying you everywhere, no more games of chase.

You bring the puppy out in Sarge and Mackey and I love seeing them get on the floor to wrestle with you. They stopped being that playful for a while until you came along. You bring the playfulness out of Jarrad and I and whenever I have a bad day, I can ALWAYS count on you for a good laugh because it's guaranteed you'll do something silly- or something bad that I can't help but to laugh at.

I really do love to watch you grow and to see how smart you are and how quickly you've picked up on things. Stay in this puppy phase for a while- I can handle the multiple potty breaks and having to clean up after a mess every now and then and having to replace clothing here and there (good think I don't buy expensive clothing- but ruin my 7 jeans and you're sleeping outside) just to have a few more days of this cuteness because that means a few more days of people ooooing and aaaaing, a few more days of Sarge and Mackey acting like puppies, a few more days of easily cuddling you in my arms like a little baby, a few more days......... Charlie Brown, you're a holy terror that I can't live without.





Charlie and Jarrad love playing















But Charlie LOVES her Sargy- she snuggles up next to him every day for a quick nap...



then terrorizes him until he agrees to play

Moving Forward

Geez, I really need to get better at posting more and more often. But don't worry, I haven't completely put away the writing, I've just been posting on other blogs. You know where I work, look up their blog if you wanna check out my latest post. Life continues to move forward since starting my new job. I'm still loving it, still loving my co-workers and the environment- I find myself getting more and more comfortable the harder I have to work. But having my to do list packed, means I'm needed, and for that I'm grateful. 

Next update: We're now back in Raleigh (Hallelujah! _Can you hear the music and the angels?) and are so happy to be. We started looking and within two weeks we found the perfect place. We signed the lease right there after looking at the location on Sunday, by Monday we were approved, frantically packed all week and by Friday my hubby was moving our stuff as I was working (bless his heart for handling that). Making phone calls to all the utility locations during my drive to work was well worth the fact that friends are now only 20 minutes away and we've so enjoyed having company over the last two weekends- game night is much more enjoyable when you're not dreading the hour drive back home. 

Next big thing on the Grand to do list, get finances completely back in order and replace my Chrysler with something less granny like, like a Honda (yes please). 

Other than that, I haven't had time to think of anything else. My life is running 90 miles per hour right now and I'm loving every minute of it. Hopefully I'll give you a more meaningful post soon, but for now just know I'm still alive. 

I DO NOT MISS High School

So I'm working an event tonight and I show up to find out it's a high school formal, worse. Can I just say, I swear dresses have gotten uglier and uglier and these poor high schoolers' attempts at cool and sexy have just fallen flat. Girls with guts are wearing tight dresses, girls with WAY too much boobs are wearing dresses that I'm sure they think are making their boobs look bigger but its simply making them look like blobs of fat falling out of a YUCK! Dress and tiny girls that could pull some of the above mentioned dresses off have chosen dresses that are so short they can't really dance without flashing, so instead they're tabing their just tapping their feet and swishing their hips to some beat other than the one I hear coming through the sound system.

The bad attempts at dancing sexy (I don't know what they're doing but it's definitely not cute), their failed attempts at sneaking in alchohol, the look on every guys face that says, "I hope I get some later" coupled by the girls looks that say, "I hope I don't get so inebriated that I hook up with him," are completely cracking me up. And I only have to sit back and watch the events unfold.

This is the most entertaining event I've witnessed to date. Oh well, at least I'll get a few laughs and the need for partying will get them all out in time for me to be home before or shortly after midnight.

I FEEL....

While researching blogs today, I came across this quick, fun test and the result, from 4 easy questions, pretty closely matches my feelings right now.

I've recently had some additional stresses thrown at me (more on that later...when I'm not at work), along with a few financial issues, but I'm still very happy and content because one thing is definitely going right- I'm on a career path that makes me feel like I'm definitely doing what I know best and because of that I feel valued...and this simple truth eases the pain of the other stresses....so there :)

New Year- New EVERYTHING!

So wow! What a miserable end 2008 but it has definitely turned around in 2009. While home for the holidays Jarrad's step-dad suggested I try something- writing down a date and setting a deadline for when I had to have a job. So I decided, OK, I'm going to set the bar high. I gave myself a deadline of January 15th which meant that with the new year holiday not being over until the 5th, I really had to get cracking. Not to mention, the 4.5 hours I drove in silence with my hubby in the back seat really gave me so time to be with God, to pray to God, to BEG God for help and he knew it was time. So I went for it. I pushed those people that I was must interested in working for and on January 7th I had an interview with this awesome new social media agency- Ignite Social Media.

Will they like me, does my blogging know-how and the fact that I taught myself the ins and outs...but is that enough, there's so much more to social media and I have a lot to learn...but I had to try. So I left the interviewing knowing they liked me(only because they told me) but who knew what that meant. Luckily I didn't have to wait too long to find out. By 9:00 that night I received a phone call while standing in the produce section at Walmart. "Why don't you come give us a try?" Oh those glorious words. My persistence paid off- did I mentioned I'd applied for a position there earlier and didn't get it? They gave it to someone within the agency, but I'm so glad I decided to continue pursuing.

I started work the next day and what can I say about the individuals I work with? They all have unique personalities, they're all hilarious, they're all so very creative, they're all geeks and nerds (not the socially awkward kind)- so in other words, they're MY KIND OF PEOPLE! I love it, I'll fit right in!

So for now I've got a dinner to cook and I hope to get the postings going again. Until then...HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Change...

Why, you may ask, have I not posted lately. Well...lack of anything positive to say comes to mind, lack of new epiphanies, total lack of interest in my own life to be completely honest. I'm tired, tired of pretending to be OK, tired of pretending everything is fine. Everything is NOT OK. I feel my world crashing down.

6 weeks, 42 days,508+ hours......of being jobless and it's driving me nuts. To be honest, I'm tired of hearing- "you're well qualified, if not overly qualified but unfortunately with the economy being the way it is, not to mention the time of year, it'll be January before we can even think of hiring new staff" REALLY??!!!??? Sometimes I'd rather hear- you're not qualified, change careers- OK, maybe not but it would be much easier to swallow if I didn't know I would be an amazing addition to any PR team but situations have kept me from proving it. I'm not trying to be shallow and say I'm the shit but I'm not going to be modest either. I know PR and I could generate success.....if only given a chance. UGH! How frustrating it is to sit and wait. I know, perhaps I'll have some contract work by the beginning of next week and that's great, but I'm ready to begin somewhere. I'm ready for change- positive change.

I'm not the type of person that can simply sit and enjoy- I need to go go go, I need to move because sitting too long makes me think, and right now I don't enjoy the thoughts that run through my head. Will we make it? Will everything REALLY be OK as everyone assures me it will be? Does God really have a reason for putting me in this position? I've tried letting go, I've tried trusting...but right now I just need change....geez- I would move to freakin Europe tomorrow if it meant starting a new job. I'm sick and tired of the unknown....I'm pissed about not having the ability to buy gifts for my family. I LOVE giving gifts and to go to Alabama for Christmas and not be able to give...but to be expected to accept.....I'm full of shame, I'm full of sadness, I feel absolutely demoralized.

I will not accept defeat...I will go to the ends of the earth until I find that place where I belong. Right now I feel as if I'm simply stuck in limbo, unmoving, unprogressive...pissed at the fucking world. I'm done...I must find change because I can't remain in this state.