Where were you on 9/11?

Every year I actually try to forget, or at least set aside the memories of 9/11. Where was I on 9/11? I was on my way to class- freshman year in college. I remember hearing it on the radio and thinking this can't be real...what a HORRIBLE joke, nothing about this is funny. Once I entered the class, all eyes and ears were turned towards the television set. We sat in silence for the next five minutes. An eerie feeling filled the room. My professor announced then that classes would be canceled and we should all go home. As I walked into my house, my brother in school, both of my parents at work and Jarrad 750 miles away, I turned on the television and sat directly in-front of the screen and cried as I watched film of this travesty and heard the words of the reporters.

It was at this moment that I knew, Jarrad would eventually be called to war. Has something ever hit you so hard that you felt you could literally feel your heart tearing apart? I have and this was one of those times. I tried and tried to call Jarrad that day but it wasn't until late that evening that I finally heard from him. Thank God they didn't send him that very day, but I still knew in the back of my head....he'd be called soon.

A year passes by, I move to North Carolina to go to school only an hour away from where Jarrad was stationed. After two years of barely seeing each other, I was so happy to be only an hour drive away but that happiness didn't last for long. Almost exactly a year from 9/11, Jarrad is called to war. I remember skipping class that day to be with Jarrad at the airport as he left. I sat next to him at the airport and wanted nothing but to cling to him. There were so many things running through my head- how could they possibly do this to me? How can I let go? Is this going to be the last time I'll ever see him again? Once again, I felt my heart breaking in two.

As he walked away to head to his terminal, it took every ounce of will power not to run after him, not to get on my hands and knees and beg him not to go (knowing he had no choice). I drove back to Meredith that day and had to pull over at least three times because my eyes were so full of tears that I couldn't see the road. Luckily, I made a friend. She was in the same exact situation as I. A week after Jarrad left for war, Tara's husband Darin was shipped off as well. Luckily, I was able to distract myself during the days with class and softball and in the evenings I spent my time comforting her. The hardest part was at night, as I laid in bed. During this time, a million thoughts ran through my head....is Jarrad OK, will I ever see him again? I wish he was here now so I could tell him how much I loved him. I wish he was here now so I can snuggle close to him. It was an endless torcher and I often cried myself to sleep.

Finally, the end of my sophomore year was coming. We were all packing up, saying our goodbyes and getting ready to head home for the summer. Except one Wonderful thing...I was heading to the airport that day. With my car's trunk and backseat packed to the max, I headed to the airport to pick-up Jarrad. By the grace of God, Jarrad came home to me. I remember plastering my face to the glass walls of the airport, every second feeling like an hour and every minute an eternity as I waited for his plane to arrive.

But this day has always left me wondering, what about the women who's husbands don't come back? What about the women that have to tell their children their daddy is no longer alive? It's by the grace of God that Jarrad came home to me and the feeling of seeing him again was overwhelming to say the least. My best friend, soul mate, my heart- he returned to me.......and because of these actions, I'll never forget sitting in front of the television- watching the events of 9/11 unfold, knowing Jarrad would have to go to war. And I thank God every day that he chose to send Jarrad home to me because he truly is my everything and I'm not sure my life would have had much meaning without him.

You know, so often it's easy for me to simply forget Jarrad was ever in the army. I know my mind puts those memories aside because they are some of the hardest memories to swallow. But every year, on 9/11, it hits me again. And every year, I thank God he chose to bring Jarrad home. And every year, I think what about those women and men who did not see their loved ones return from work that day or the men and women who said goodbye to their spouses as they headed off to war but was never able to have the happy return I experienced.

So where were you on 9/11?