Yea Yea....I Hear Ya! I get it now...GEEZ!!

So it comes as no surprise to those who know me best that my husband and I have experienced some EXTREME financial hardships during the last 3 years that he's been in school. So I've prayed,and prayed and prayed and God has come through moment to moment but never on a consistent basis. And I thought, that's because God is teaching me a lesson through my struggle. Well....I could be wrong, but I think lately he's been trying to teach me that lesson-but not the lesson I thought he was trying to teach.

The lesson he's been trying to teach me is faith. I love Church at the Triangle (CATT), have found a new family in CATT, am active at CATT but other than $5 here and $10 I haven't really given God his fair share. I've thought, God can't REALLY expect me to give him 10% of my paycheck every month when I can't make it as it is....oh but I think he does and I think he does because he wants me to have faith in him. If I want to see CATT grow, then I need to help CATT grow by giving him what's rightfully his.
While I wasn't really questioning my faith, I think God was...I've been stressed about money, but I knew that God was trying to get my attention when I had a great conversation with Lauren about the fact that she and Steve just give God his part every month and just have faith or at least try to have faith that he'll take care of things.....as she told me this, I'm thinking to myself...yea, but I'm the only person bringing in any real money,Jarrad tries hard to do what he can, but I'm the one with the regular 9:00-5:00 so I know God can wait until Jarrad graduates from college before we give him 10%. WRONG! I was totally wrong...at least that's what I think God was telling me. When Jarrad gets out of college and starts a job, we won't struggle as we do now and I won't feel the need to seek God as desperately as I do now, financially anyway.

Well, Lauren's words, unbeknown to her, have been eating at me for weeks. With that I've been reading a book, "Blue Like Jazz," and have found both inspiration and God speaking to me through this book on several occasions. So Friday night I decided to take a nice soak in Kelly's very large bathtub as the one I have isn't large enough for someone of my height to truly relax. And Just as I thought God was providing inspiration and words to help me through one prayer I've had over the last couple of months, regarding faith, the book quickly shifted to talk about finances(which inadvertantly goes back to faith). Long story short, I finished that chapter, closed my book and just looked up to the heavens and grouchly said to God: "OK OK, I get it. I must have faith in you and that you'll pull through for us. To do so, I need to give to you, what's rightfully yours. GOSH" OK- I added the Gosh part just now but my whiny reply to God was starting to remind me of Nepoleon Dynamit.

You know, a while back I said it would just be easier if God could just slap me on the head and I'd know right away what it was he wanted....well, I felt like this chapter was that slap on the head.

Sometimes I just need my friends to very directly say to me: "Christian, you know you should really....." That's a whole lot easier because apparently I'm a true blonde and I don't do well with hints.

So I figured I need to get this out, post it to my blog because if I make it public, I'll have to stick to it. This is my vow to God, that I will give him what is rightfully his on this upcoming pay day and not only will I do that, but I'll have faith that he'll come through and take care of my needs for that month and the months to come. With that, no hinting around, Lauren and Kelly- it's your jobs to make certain i stick by this promise.I get paid on August 1st and the first check I write needs to be to CATT.

This is my oath, this is my vow....have a great day...YAY GOD! ;)