ONCE UPON A TIME

OK- first let me apologize because this is going to be another long post and I know I promised not do that again.

SO- I've been fighting with myself lately....yea, I know... That seems to be a trend with me but I can assure you I don't have a personality disorder. But I've been fighting with myself because I've been shy about telling my latest story....I'm just not sure why I'm so scared, maybe I don't want some of my friends to think they've lost the Christian they know (which, PS- I'M STILL HERE, SAME CHRISTIAN), maybe it's hard for me to admit that I'm experiencing some changes in my life...I just don't know and don't pretend to know so here goes.

......Big Deep Breath......

I grew up in a very Christian home and, being daddy's little girl, my dad was a huge influence on my life. After witnessing my dad sprinting out of the house on a number of occasions with his Bible in hand to go see a friend that was hurting, or to watch my dad's consistently positive attitude, feeling his love on a daily basis and hearing my dad's story (I'll save that one for another day...possibly father's day)- I wanted to be like my dad. So at the age of 7, I welcomed Jesus into my life. But while I was daddy's perfect little angel...at least until I was 12, I still didn't know what it meant to do so.

Fast Forward through the horrible bad and awkward years of middle school and straight to high school. There was a new pastor at my church at the time and with him was a wonderful wife. Sweet as can be, they came in and actually wanted to focus on the teenagers, which, in the old church I grew up in, rarely happened. They took us to this weekend long conference for teenagers and that was my first experience with more contemporary music, my first experience with a mass of people my age interested in growing in their walk with Jesus. It was here that I really felt God with me. After a day of meetings and classes and worship, during prayer time I felt God put his hand on my shoulder and say, "I'm here." I sat in my pew, balling my eyes out. It was here that I truly asked God to come into my life. And things went well, I became active in my church and life was good. But then at the end of my Junior year in high school, it was their time to leave the church and a new pastor came in. Well, things went back to how they used to be....my relationship with God became a roller coaster ride...I stuck up for him and my beliefs when I wanted to or when it was convenient and did so throughout the rest of high school and college. Though I maintained a personal relationship with God through it all and never changed my beliefs, my actions didn't always reflect those beliefs.

After college graduation and my first years of marriage I began searching for that place to belong once again. The first place I found myself was a Baptist church near our apartment. The people were nice enough and the pastor even came to visit a couple of times. On one such occasion, when I was off working, he came to visit and my husband asked God into his life. So something wonderful came from that church, but that's not where I belonged. I didn't believe in a lot of the teachings from this pastor and found myself extremely agitated after some of his messages. I stayed here for almost two years, but it only became worse and my attendance and participation definitely began to dwindle.

We then moved into a town house on a different side of town and I took that opportunity to try out another church. I went, off and on...I guess when I needed "a fix" but didn't attend as often as possible. Another 10 months past and I tried one church near Holly Springs (this is where we moved next) and I still just wasn't where I needed to be.

Well, here goes the good stuff. Little did I know that a girl named Lauren would join our softball team and lead me to check out a new kind of church, Church at the Triangle. I was instantly drawn to this church and found myself acting like a blubbering idiot throughout the entire music portion of the service. The only way I can describe what I was feeling then was a feeling of belonging. I knew then and there that I was where I was supposed to be. For the first time in my life I found myself excited about Sunday and couldn't wait to get there. Now I know I want to help this church grow and reach their goals. Now I'll use the PR skills I've gained over the last four years and many new skills I'm creating as I go because I don't have the answers, to help this church through its launch. Even more exciting for me is that I get to join Lauren in a group to focus on College students. I feel here I can relate to these students and hopefully help provide them a place to worship while they're away from home.

Now I focused on the fact that I'm now getting involved, but what I didn't mentioned is that I've met some wonderful people that are now helping me grow in my Christianity. I'm no where near perfect, and I have lots of questions and very few answers that I'm hoping to discover over the coming months. I'm looking to grow in my walk with Jesus and I believe it'll be people like Lauren, mentioned previously, her husband Steve, Lead pastor Lee and others that will help guide me. I'm not exactly one to be providing the teachings of Jesus to others as I myself need to further study and learn, but what I can do is tell others about the blessings I've received and the love I've felt. I've been hit with some major hardships over the last few years and it's when I've said to God, I give up, here I am, take me, tell me what to do... that something always happens to save me from those hardships.

THE BEGINNING-OK, I know typically I'd say the end here, but it's not....so again......

THE BEGINNING..........